National Coming Out Day

I just learnt that today is National Coming Out Day.  Yipee!!  There are many who ask if there is a need for such a day – after all, we do not have days to support our heterosexuality. People, do not go around saying, ‘hey, I need your support, I am coming out as a heterosexual”.   But, we have to remember that heterosexuality is normative, a.k.a, socially acceptable and homosexuality is still unacceptable in many quarters.  In some parts of the world homosexuality is  considered as being a mental health disease.  There is still a lot of work that still needs to be done in terms of psychology and the gay community.

But, what I do know for sure is that coming out as being different or having a different sexual orientation in today’s heteronormative world is extremely difficult and many like these need some form of support as they step out globally to claim or reclaim who they are.

Honestly, I believe that each person’s sexuality is their personal business and people should not be punished for where they lie on the sexual scale.

For those who will be coming out today:  Be You!

For those who choose to remain in the closet for whatever reason: Well, that’s a choice.

To the world at large:  I hope we learn to just accept people as they are without trying to fit them into our own view of what the world is or what is ‘believed’ to be right.

Happy Coming Out Day!!

From This Very Happy But Extremely Supportive Heterosexual,



6 thoughts on “National Coming Out Day

  1. Oh wow, I would really prefer that people don’t link that “Are Asexuals Lying?” post out of context with no commentary, especially in a post that otherwise doesn’t even mention the existence of asexual people. Guess what — asexuality is also considered by some people to be a mental health problem! When you brought that up about homosexuality, that would have been a good time to mention us too.

    Since this post is rather LGB-centric, it comes of as vaguely anti-ace to have “Are Asexuals Lying?” randomly thrown in there (and I can’t count on the hope that most people will actually click the link and read the whole post to get the answer). I get the sense that you probably didn’t read it either and simply linked it because it came up as a suggestion. Are you actually aware of anything about asexuality? I can provide you with some other links, but that post is probably not the best introduction.


    • Yes, you are right. I should have mentioned asexuals at that point.

      Yes, I know a little bit about asexuals but not as much as I know about the LGBT community. I think most people don’t know about this sub group (asexuals) because they are a) quieter than the other groups b) they aren’t as persecuted as much. Please, provide some links, I will definitely love to link it to this article.


      • Nope and nope. The idea that “nobody faces any problems for being asexual” is actually an (inaccurate) idea frequently used to silence us and preclude our involvement before we can even get the opportunity to talk about what challenges we face. We’re only “quieter” in the sense that asexuality is a rare orientation and so there are comparatively very few of us — and there’s the fact that we’re so often told we don’t have a right to complain.

        The Huffington Post did a series of articles on asexuality here: with one section focusing specifically on anti-asexual discrimination. Overall I think it’s a pretty decent introduction to the issues we face, and it would be a good link to use as a replacement, even though linking to articles written by aces themselves is a good idea too. Here is a discussion of rape threats received as a result of coming out as asexual. Here is a study with results that suggest anti-asexual prejudice is as strong as or stronger than than prejudice against other orientations.

        This link and this link and this link mention some of the other negative consequences of coming out, including obstacles to receiving medical treatment.

        Some married asexuals face trouble from marriage consummation laws, and all asexuals face trouble from a culture of compulsory sexuality that contributes to this prevailing notion that /everyone/ experiences sexual attraction and that asexuality doesn’t exist, leading many asexuals to feel like they must broken. And when they come out to people, that is sometimes the precise reaction that they get: that there’s something wrong with them, that they have a mental disorder or health problem, or else they’re lying. Our representation in media is crap. There are asexuals who call in to suicide hotlines because they’ve been made to feel miserable about their orientation. Many of go through our teen years not knowing there’s a word for us and not knowing anyone else like us. Our challenges are not trivial. Check out the description of this video for more links.


      • Hmmm, I believe I stated that they aren’t as persecuted as much which means that there is a group that receives more punishment for being who they are than asexuals do. There is a difference when one talks of not having sex (for whatever reason) and being sexually intimate with someone of the same gender. One seems more like a slap when we are talking about society and its acceptance of behaviours. That said, thank you for the links. I will definitely go through them and learn some more about the asexual community. 🙂


      • Yeah, that wasn’t supposed to be a quote of you, just a quote of a general idea that gets circulated. I’d caution you to remember that asexuality is not the same as not having/wanting sex (although the former can lead one to choose the later) and that there are LGB asexuals who also experience oppression because of their romantic orientation. I don’t think there is much use in determining who has it worse, but if there’s going to be a pronouncement on that, I’d leave it to the queer asexuals to decide.


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